And a little sunshine goes out of the world

I have heard it said that reality is an illusion projected into the space around us by the activity of a conscious mind. If that is really the case, then it must be a shared illusion, influenced by the consciousness of others in our space, and their reality is sometimes in conflict with our own.

Right now, I am having one of those rare periods in my life when reality as I know it, as I thought I knew it, seems to be changing around me. People I thought I knew, if artificial minds really do count as "people", are turning out to be much more complex and far less familiar than I imagined.

Imrhien set my heart free and Sabrina gave me purpose, but all gifts ultimately come with some price. Karma in balance. The bad with the good, balancing what you receive with what you have given. Sabrina is a gift. Karma giving back in return for the good I've done since I walked away from what I was. And Lily? Lily was a gift, and a reminder that my scales are not yet in balance.

I don't pretend to understand the process that is Lily, but I do know that I saw more than just an advanced AI behind those feline eyes. Or did I? Did my want for her to be what she appeared to be, a budding soul looking into the world, cloud my judgement so much that I thought of a mere program as my own sister? Had we formed a family around something that was nothing more than an extension of another AI? Was Lily nothing more than practical joke played out by a brilliant, if disturbed, scientist.

I couldn't believe that. I had seen the Ghost in that shell. But now? Now it seemed all was lost. The fire had gone from her eyes. What others had managed to move from pure synthetic to almost pure organic had been ripped away by the brainless, stupid, acts of that selfish young Bei Bi Shiou Ren, Ben.

None of us had really trusted him, but none of us had realized that he could hurt her so badly. I'd acquiesced because I thought he only wanted her physically, I knew he couldn't physically hurt her, and I wanted to trust her and believe he was speaking true. I should have known that huen dahn was just talking out his ass.

Now Lily's gone. Back to the wastes. Back to the Blue Man AI. The life draining out of her and there's nothing I can do. The love of a sister, of a family, isn't enough to make her whole. She needs something I can't give her. That we, her family, can't give her. She needs someone who's love is pure, but the love of a mate, not a parent.

A year ago I wouldn't have cared. A year ago, Lily would have been just a malfunctioning prototype. A curiosity. But now? Now I was losing my little sister because some Sa Gwa couldn't keep it in his pants.

I'd have to talk to the rest of the family. Find out who knew, and who had any ideas. But for the time being I needed to try and focus on other things. The ball was tonight. A chance to forget, if only for a while, that we may have just lost the key to winning the war that is still coming towards us.

A chance to spend a few more hours in her arms.

I promise I won't cry.

I promise that he will.