Two candles

It is over.

I wasn't there when AuroraBlue came into the world.

I should have been.

Lily is my little sister, in emotional bond if not in biological fact. In the eyes of the law, I'm her mother. Her guardian. I should have been there when she brought AuroraBlue into the world. But I was . . . elsewhere. I knew it was coming. I should have been there. But, by the time I arrived, AuroaBlue was out and Lily was in suspension.

I wasn't there when she left the world.

I should have been.

I knew it was coming. They'd told me. I'd known. I couldn't stop it, but I'd known. I should have been there, but again, I was elsewhere. They told me later. Lily's note, written in crayon. She was so quiet, and the subconscious part of me that was always aware didn't perceive her as a threat, that I didn't awaken. The note was so simple, but I knew without a doubt what it meant.

MISS SEANA
I SORRY
LILY

Gallagher'd left a note too. How local law enforcement would 'handle' the situation. An accident. If it ever came to that.

I didn't care about an accident.

I didn't care how he handled the incident.

It was over. Aurora was gone. I felt the pain I'd prepared myself for. Something was lost from the world. Something amazing. But something was saved as well.

Don't be sorry, Mei Mei.

Dragons understand
Life continues as it must
But not as it was

Sabrina knows I don't talk about my personal pain. I just accept the comfort of her embrace and the love that's made me whole. It's been another year. Caitlin's still dead, and I still light a candle to her memory. But now the candle does not sit alone.

It all happens at once

It's been quiet on Hale's Moon for weeks. Too quiet, some would say. But the quiet has let me concentrate on the issues between Lily and Aurora and my ancillary duties to Tag. Not that he was pushing. My position in the Intel community was unusual, to say the least. No permanent staff. No fixed duties. A very, very, flexible assignment.

I wasn't expecting a lone Reaver though. We'd heard that Krenshar's compound over on the far side of the Blue Sun facility had been attacked a couple times by one or two Reavers. Was never clear whether they were Reavers that'd somehow snuck down to the surface through our navtrak arrays or whether they'd been in hiding with the refugees all along. There was the finite possibility that they'd escaped from the Blue Sun research lab, but that seemed unlikely given our ongoing business relationship.

But a Reaver we had nonetheless. Just one though.

Was talking to a transport pilot by the name of Iskrin Nightfire when we heard the cries from outside. The familiar, feral, snarl of a Reaver and the shouts of townsfolk running for shelter. While I was putting out the call to the Militia, Iskrin went outside with his sidearm to deal with the Reaver.

Brave man. Especially considering the Reaver got the drop on him and only bolted back out of town when the Militia started coming for them. Gave the Militia something to do to keep their edge, and gave me a chance to brush off my field medic skills.

A chance to refresh my bar tending skills too, actually, when folk started to show up at Fook's after I was done patching Iskrin back together. Since Sobi'd decided to go back to Surfer's New Paradise with Miss Jade, it'd fallen to a number of folk to tend bar off an on. Myself included.

That's where I was when Cody set down with Lily.

Both had been injured during the extraction, but the details could wait until I'd patched them up and they'd both had time to settle back down after the ordeal. The thing was, they'd hatched a plan to end Aurora. Not AuroraBlue. Aurora. The personality that had been AuroraBlue was gone. We knew that, painful as it was.

This whole hunt business had been part of Aurora's plan to get what she needed from Cody and to end Lily. A fairly obvious trap that relied on Lily's known needs and the inherent innocence that made her who she was. It had almost worked. Lily'd fallen in the hunt mentality until it was almost too late, and now Aurora would pay the price for underestimating Lily's capability.

Errors made in haste
Overconfidence can kill
Lesson learned too late

However it came out, it would hurt. If Lily won, as I expected, there would be a second candle on the little alter when I said my prayers for Caitlin. If Aurora won?

If Aurora won, there would be three candles. And people would know that Dragons can cry.

This is going to hurt

Things grow more complicated in the extraction and now, it seems, x0x0 has the impression that this is something that Lily and Aurora need to work out between themselves. Much as my instinct told me to step in and put a stop to what was happening, x0 asked me not to.

Not an easy task.

There's more to it, of course, than 'just work it out." There's layers of complexity and some moral issues that border on metaphysics. The kinds of assumptions that raise questions that keep Shepherds awake at night. I understand the Shepherd's lessons and their beliefs, but I don't share them.

The question of Soul is one of metaphysics, not science. Shepherds and Buddhists have different beliefs and, in truth, no one in a few thousand years of looking as come up with a proof. Is there an immortal soul? Does the spirit reincarnate over and over? Or is the Ghost simply a construct of consciousness? Are none of these even close to right? Or maybe all of them are in their own way.

That's philosophy, not science. But that philosophy is at the root of this. At least that's what x0xo believes, and whether I believe in the metaphysics ore not, the conflict itself is very, very, real.

One of my little girls is going to die.

I've lived my entire life according to some strict codes of personal discipline. The Zen calm I'm known for isn't forced. It's who I am. Usually. Being Human, emotion is sometimes more than I can suppress and it shows through. The quiet calm doesn't mean I don't feel. It means I don't let it show. Usually, I succeed.

x0x0 asked me not to interfere. She explained what was going on behind all that was happening. No real surprises, save, perhaps, that I'd seen the person behind Lily's eyes long before x0 or her brother had. The shell never mattered. Lily and Krenshar, and later Blue, taught me that. The Ghost was what mattered. Metaphysics? Perhaps. But there was a fundamental difference between an Expert System that could pass a Touring test, like, say, Nora, and the person behind Lily's eyes. Nora was complex code. Nothing more. She had no ghost.

I'd always called her "Aurora" but it was verbal shorthand. She'd been born AuroraBlue and there was a deep seated difference between her as AuroraBlue and how she's changed since calling herself simply Aurora. Whether x0x0 was right that she was inherently evil now, I couldn't say. Her motives, her agenda, had changed for the worse. I'd already lost my little girl. AuroraBlue was gone. Whether she could be brought back, was also something I couldn't say. But it seemed x0x0 was right. This was between Lily and Aurora. However it turned out, I would have to step back and let it happen.

Regardless of how it turned out, it would hurt. But Dragons don't cry no matter what they're feeling inside.

It's close now . . .

Cody's doing his part. x0x0's doing hers.

It's only a matter of time before she's home.

Asset Allocation

x0x0 sent me a note this morning about Aurora and Lily. It gets me one step closer, but still not where I need to be. I know a lot more now than I did. My own contacts have been seeping information back to me, but x0 has a more direct line than I do. She knows how this is all going down. While she didn't plan it, she understands all the pieces involved at a deeper level than I do.

x0 told Krenshar she'd kill anyone that stood between her and rescuing Lily. It gave me a new perspective on x0x0. This whole situation had. A hint of compassion for Lily? x0 wasn't known for her compassion, but there were times I saw a depth in her that I don't think she wanted people to know she had. It could be an illusion. I am hardly the perfect judge of character, though our relationship was very different from that of most others.

I had no doubt that x0x0 would carry through with her promise. While our methods might be quite different the result would be the same. Anyone that hurt Lily would face fury unleashed like an elemental force of nature. It didn't matter whether or not they saw it coming, whether it took the form of a silent killer in the dark or death raining down from the sky, the result would be the same. If they hurt Lily, they would die.

There was a time, when I was feeling very protective of Imrhien, I'd told someone that if they made her cry I would make them cry. If the people who had Lily made her cry, they would not have time to cry.

Cody was still inbound to recover her, but had more backup than he realized.

Lily would be home safe. Of that I was certain. It was only a matter of how many bodies were left in her wake. And, perhaps more important, what we would do with Aurora when Lily was back.

She was broken. But could she be fixed? I'd already lost my littlest girl without recognizing it. Could we ever get her back, or had that light forever gone out of the world?

The only consolation was not having to contemplate it alone.

Closing the gap

Cody is closing with Lily, but isn't there yet. Not quiet. Nor, unfortunately, am I. And I'm torn. Given Cody's emotional attachment to Lily, part of me very strongly believes that it's his place to go in and fetch her. Oddly enough, I can see the emotional need to be the one who's there at the right place at the right time to recover the person you care about. She's my little girl, but to Cody she's something else.

As I'd found from x0, Lily'd been manipulated into this hunt. At this point, she probably didn't know she was the target. Once she did know though, the situation would change. Like the Kender from that old Earth that Was story book, Lily didn't know fear. When she understood the situation, she would start eliminating the pursuit. Anyone hunting her was in more danger of dieing than she was.

But someone might still get lucky.

I had to hope Cody would be able to get her out of the situation while I got into position to back him up. Whether he knew it or not, he would have backup. It was the kind of operation that was well suited to my skill set. Special Asset: Tactical. Or Technical, depending on the mission profile. If I did everything right, Cody would never know he'd had a shadow while working to get Lily back. She might know I was there, but chances were slim he would.

Ultimately, I didn't care. All that mattered was getting Lily back. Once that was done, I could figure out how to deal with the Aurora situation. How do you fix something when you didn't really know how it was supposed to work in the first place?

I'd worry about that when the time came.

Target Aquisition

Finding x0x0 wasn't so much a matter of going and looking, but making it known I wanted to talk to her. She knew where to find me and would when possible. Business rags, gossip tabloids, and intel assessments aside, I'm genuinely fond of x0x0. I don't pretend to be able to fully understand her, but that's another matter. Still, I knew where Lily and Aurora were concerned, she'd either let me know where she was or she'd come to see me herself.

I know x0x0 is doing her best to explain to me what's going on with Lily and Aurora and Blue and her brother Mindo, and how Krenshar's come to fit into the whole thing. And, to be honest, I have trouble wrapping my brain around it. The biology and biochemistry are beyond me, though I admit neither are my forte. Of course, even Uncle Sobi, who is a biochemist, shakes his head and says "Sorry, Mei Mei, don't got enough data."

Unlike the biochemistry, I could follow the psychology. The Metaphysics though? Sentient's and Souls? That was the kind of discussion Shepherds and Monks had. When it came to souls, I was never sure whether x0 and I were talking about the same thing. Was a person's Ghost the same as their soul? Where they two names for the same thing? Where they separate? Did either even really exist, and did any of us understand it? The Shepherds talked about heaven while Buddhist monks talked about reincarnation. Couldn't both be right, yet billions of people believed in each Way. Billions more believed in nothing at all.

I didn't pretend to know. But to me at least, Lily was real. She had a Ghost, or a Soul, or whatever you wanted to call it. So did Aurora. So did Krenshar and Raids. They were people. I wanted to keep them all alive.

Such as it is.

The situation, as x0 described it, was complex. I'm not sure I understand it well enough to even try and explain it to someone else. The bottom line, though, was that Aurora, as she was now, was incomplete and trying to recover herself. Lily was more complete than she was supposed to be because Aurora, as she was before, as AuroraBlue, had demonstrated The Third Principle of Sentient Life: the capacity for self-sacrifice. For a cause, a loved one, for a friend. For her mother.

But that was before. This was now. AuroraBlue had become Aurora. Not just in the shortened form of her name I used, but a psychologically different individual. Her agenda was much as Krenshar's had been when he was under the influence of the corrupted Frame, and every bit as dangerous to the folk who called Hale's Moon home. It seemed likely she'd try and corrupt or kill anyone who got in the way of her plan. Except possibly me. Dragons don't kill their own kind?

You have much to learn
Dragons do not harm their own
A lesson coming

I knew far more of the details now, and the realization that AuroraBlue had been complete. Something in that realization had been enough to induce x0x0 to faint, and then slip fully into unconsciousness. But the last words she spoke before drifting off were "Save Lily."

That is the plan.

Of course, it was easier said than done. Keeping x0x0 safe aboard Wave Equation until she woke up was a non-issue. Given the proximity between Blue Sun's facilities and Krenshar's installation in the Destiny section, she was safer on my boat than she'd be either in our infirmary or her own offices. But the information that Aurora herself had arranged for Lily to be the 'target' of some kind of hunt actually narrowed my search parameters considerably.

Whoever they were, they wouldn't try to end Lily until they got word from Aurora. With Aurora still occupied on Hale's I had time to track them down and intervene. There were several options, of course. The lowest impact would be getting Aurora to order them to let her go. That was something I might actually be able to fake given a little more information on how the deal was arranged. Another alternative was simply paying them the agreed fee, or more if required, to not try and kill Lily. It was potentially expensive, but I was willing to deal with that. The final option was to simply go in and recover her myself. Part of me actually wanted to execute on that option. I'd never had a fondness for slavers and putting a few out of their misery would be a Kindness.

But that was a last resort. I still had to locate the target, though, hopefully, I'd know where they were by the time x0x0 woke up. When I knew where they were, and who they were, I'd be able to formulate the rest of the plan to bring Lily home. Or at least out of harms way. At home, there was still Aurora and the threats she posed.

Time draining like sand
Sister in peril unknown
It must be enough

Family matters

I'm not usually in the habit of worrying about people. Especially people who I know are perfectly capable of taking care of themselves. Didn't mean I didn't care about people. It just meant I didn't worry about them. Except, with Lily being gone as long as she has, I was actually starting to worry.

Over the last couple days I'd spoken with Cody, who'd had to promise not to go looking for her, and Kari, who was bound by no such promise. Even General was making noises about her being gone longer than usual. Keri'd gone so far as to start trying to track her down herself, but the trail'd gone cold after MacLaren's Drift. Cody said x0x0 might know, but Kari couldn't find x0.

That was ok. I could find x0.

x0x0 was the obvious starting point for tracking Lily down. There were a number of worlds out here on the Rim she might go to for her hunt, starting with Blackburne. Never mind the Downport had been more or less burned to the ground by the Reavers, and even the wastelanders had mostly evacuated the world. Blackburne wasn't actually dead. It was just mostly abandoned. Even more so since the Reavers themselves had gone back into the Black. Given her history with Blackburne, it was high on my list of potential targets.

Problem would be actually finding her. I'd gone looking for my little sister more than once in the past and even with Wave Equation's sensor platform, and our little recee drone, and the fact that Lily's signature was about as unique as it got, it'd been hard to pinpoint her location. I'd want to have a good idea she was on any particular world before I started trying to locate her on the surface.

Which meant my first step would be getting a lead on where she'd gone to hunt. Narrowing down the potential target worlds was relatively easy. Lily had her favorites and there were practical limitations as to where she could, and would, go. That made my life somewhat easier. Though it was still only a probabilistic change. The key would be seeing if she'd tuned up anywhere, and until I got hold of x0, I'd have to rely on other methods.

There were half a dozen people I could contact easily who might know something of her whereabouts, and getting waves off to them would be a start. There was also the resources I could tap through Intel section.

With the exception of military installations and some of the larger colonies, records keeping out on the Rim was sloppy at best and openly falsified at worst. Still, Lily wasn't actively trying to hide her trail. Much. There was a fair chance that I could pull a hit from travel records, assuming she'd actually been somewhere they kept travel records.

It was worth a shot. Considering I could list Lily as a personal asset, should the question arise, it was within my purview to request a data dive. If I got a hit, great. If not, I'd have to concentrate on other lines of inquiry. While fugitive recovery wasn't my forte, it wasn't entirely outside my skill set and I had a personal interest in getting her home safe.

I know you're hunting little sister.

But I still want you home safe.

Into the new year

It was a quiet Year's End. The only surprise, and a pleasant one at that, was a bit of time with Duncan. It'd been a while since we'd seen much of him. Seems some of the personal relationship rumors we'd heard were true, and he'd taken to living aboard Raivenn more or less full time. Not that I blamed him. That boat was a large part of his life, and I'd spent quite a lot of time living on my boat as well over the years.

Ultimately though, it was quiet. There were parties locally here on Hale's Moon, and Buddha only knew how many on other nearby worlds. The 'moment' of Year End was officially based on the Earth that Was calendar and time sync for a place known as Greenwich where there was a weather observatory. Keeping that time was, of course, ridiculous. But it was tradition.

It was actually kind of funny, holding to that tradition based on the calendar of a world we'd abandoned hundreds of years ago. Sure, most worlds in the 'Verse had their own local traditions and local "New Year" celebrations, based on their actual orbits. It was just the 'standard' year that everyone held to. Adapted, obviously, to celebrate at local Midnight.

This year, midnight found me right where I needed to be: at home with my wife.

Though it also had me thinking about other things. Aurora wasn't acting herself. She had the whole surly teen thing going, but it didn't make sense. Even with her radically altered biological growth rates, her mind reaching that aggressive, defiant, disrespectful, stage didn't make sense. Something was wrong that I couldn't even identify, let alone fix.

And what was up with Lily's hunt? One of Aurora's comments had me worried. Lily on the hunt wasn't something I needed to understand, but I'd never worried about her before. I'd have expected her back already. In fact, another day or so without word, and I'd be out there looking for her myself.

Buddha help anyone who's harmed her. For he knows I won't.

Sister on the hunt
Who is in the most danger?
I will come for you

She'll be home. I have faith in her ability to take care of herself when she's in a bad situation. I just don't have much faith in her ability to avoid getting into the bad situation in the first place. Just means I'll have to wish her a happy Year's End a little late is all.