Dilemma

On Earth that Was, during the second stage of the 20th century's "Great World Conflict," cryptography and communications took huge leaps forward.  One of the consequences of those leaps, especially where decryption was concerned, were occasions where leaders would have to ignore specific intel so as not to alert their enemies that their codes had been broken.  The end result: civilian deaths because they weren't warned there were bombers on the way to paste the city they lived in.

It was a terrible position to be in and there have been numerous instances since of a leader deciding to sacrifice a target so as not to compromise an intelligence asset.  It's not an easy decision to make, for various reasons.  The ethical concerns are obvious.  Unless you're a bit of a sociopath, sacrificing a civilian target is never a decision to take lightly.  Even if you are a sociopath, there's the issue of people eventually finding out that you were willing to let them die so as not to compromise your intel sources.

I'd been following my adopted daughter's antics and activities for some time.  I'd be doing it even if I wasn't a spook.  I'm her mother after all, and she has a unique ability to find all sorts of very special trouble.  Follow her had led me to keeping track of events on Al Raquis and events involving the Myrmidon Order - a quasi religious cross between a Monastic order and a conventional PMC ^*.

Lily had become quite impressed with one of the order and he'd welcomed her to come train with them and learn their ways.  Somehow, he'd been some sort of impulse for K2, which, I admit, I didn't pretend to understand.  Be that as it was, I'd reluctantly told Lily that it was OK and tried to get it across to Krakken, the Myrmidon, that I expected him to treat my little girl with the respect and care she deserved.

Not unexpectedly, that didn't happen.

She'd come back home, vowing never to go back to the Myrmidon.  Which I was good with.  What I wasn't entirely good with was the information she brought back with her.  During my time monitoring, I'd found it more than a little difficult to get good Intel out of the Order and on the Order.  What Lily brought with her was intel that they were planning to, at some time in the near future, invade Al Raquis.

That was entirely unexpected information, and, to be sure, it didn't make a lot of sense.  My first instinct, after resisting the urge to laugh at the thought of a PMC, even a well organized and equipped one, attacking a well established colony, was to pass the information on the some local contacts on Al Raquis so the local military could be prepared for what was coming.  Only Lily didn't want me to do it.

It left me in an awkward position.  On several levels I wanted to test my network and see whether I could actually use it to make a difference.  I hadn't chosen to become an information broker to be rich.  I already had all the monetary resources I could need and then some.  No.  I'd done it because, ultimately, it was how I thought I could do the most good for the most people.

On a lot of levels I know the idea was flawed.  It was very difficult to know, in my heart, what really was the best use for my information.  What really was best for the thirty six plus billion people living in the 34 Tauri system?

Regardless, Lily's asked me not to intervene.  Why I didn't know.  But I agreed.  For better or worse, I wouldn't warn the military on Al Raquis that an attack might be imminent.  There were other things I could, and would, do if the situation escalated.  But, for now, at my little girl's behest, I would let things happen as they would.

For better or worse
Warnings remain unspoken
My conscience heavy


* Author's note:  I know the Myrmidon Order doesn't see themselves that way in the Dune campaign and other locations where they exist.  However, this blog is strictly from the perspective of a player in the Firefly 'Verse.  Hence, the adaptation to fit within the Canon of firefly. Here's a good starting point.

Signal, ever so faint

I got a wave today from out of the blue.  Well, out of the Black, really.  While I'm still trying to figure out exactly what it means, I am quite sure of the source.  AuroraBlue.  The Tiny Dragon.  My littlest girl.  The message, such as it was, was little more than a series of faint clicks, but the pattern was familiar.  Not unlike Lily's, though the signature was quite distinctly not Lily's.

Tiny Dragon didn't reach out to me often and I had to wonder what prompted the message.  Was she in trouble of some kind on Al Raquis?  Possible, but my information network there hadn't reported anything overly concerning.  Not that it couldn't get past me.  My information nets, while growing tighter, were still growing and I was still learning to properly parse the huge amount of data that was coming in.

Did she know about Sabrina?  The message I'd received?  That I was, again, the Lonesome Ninja?  Entirely possible.  A large part of her genetics had been carefully engineered for a specific purpose.  While the exact purpose was still, annoyingly, unknown, it wouldn't surprise me to find that a touch of the Reader gene was in there somewhere.  Genes, really.  Plus structural changes and who, really, knew what else.  It was possible she knew at an intuitive level that I was alone again and was reaching out to give some small token of comfort.  It was also entirely possible that, assuming 'Brina's departure was the reason, she knew by entirely mundane means.  More likely, really, given her intimate association with the Blue Man AI.

For all I knew, the message could be nothing more than "The weather is beautiful, wish you were here."  But somehow that seemed a little too mundane.  The fact that she's sent an audible message was significant in of itself.

The logical step from here was to check with my contacts on Al Raquis directly then, if they had nothing, go there myself to see how Tiny Dragon was doing.  While I was following the developments with Lily and K2 and AuroraBlue, I'd been very hands off of late.  Perhaps it was time to change that, though my interventions in the past never seemed to do much.  Of course, it was hard to see any effect my actions would have in their situations.  I was too close to it in time and space.

I also wasn't prescient.

Though . . . was anyone?

I'd give it another day or so to check with my local contacts and see if I could figure out why AuroraBlue had contacted me.  If not, or if she didn't contact me again herself, I'd go to her.  Even if it turned out to be nothing more than a sympathy call, it would be good to see her again.

Tiny Dragon calls
A faint voice, unexpected
Welcome distraction

The one wherein a Dragon cries

On some level I am not surprised.  When Sabrina took Elsoph up on his offer to come play in an R&D lab of her own, I'd had a gut feeling that she'd get wrapped up in being able to pursue her technical dreams.  We'd stayed in touch, seeing each other, or speaking over a Cortex link, as often as we could, but on some level I knew the distance was a problem.

I hadn't realized how deeply she'd feel the loss of Hale's Moon, but I should have.  She'd lost a home on Blackburne when the Reavers had overrun the downport.  Even though she was living with me on Hale's by then, she'd felt the loss as had all the others who'd called that place home.  The move to Dragon's Egg was even less comfortable for her than it was for me.  Probably why she accepted the position back on the Orbital, then gone with it when Corporate made the decision to move it.  We'd both called the Orbital home for a time, living on the boat docked in the lower hangar.

Now, she'd chosen to walk away.  Not that I really blamed her.  I even understood why she'd left me a Haiku to say good bye rather than having the a talk that would have been more painful for both of us.

Time has changed us much
I no longer have a home
Into the sunset

Part of me wanted to track her down and have the talk we should have had, while the rest of me knew and understood her reasoning.  I had to remember that old saying: "If you love someone set them free.  If they love you too, they will return."  The thing was the variations in how that old saying ended.  The classical "If they don't return, it was not meant to be."  Or the more irreverent "If they do not return, hunt them down and kill them."

Most people who knew me would expect me to follow the latter interpretation of that saying, but I wouldn't.  I loved 'Brina.  I always will.  But if our marriage wasn't meant to be, I'm willing to let go of it.  I won't be happy to let go of it.  But I am willing.

I just wonder if I'll be able to stay on Dragon's Egg myself.  Lily and AuroraBlue have both been very mobile, but spending far more time on Al Raquis than on Dragon's Egg - a world I have extensive contacts on, but don't feel comfortable on myself.  Simon's been away for weeks without even a SitRep to let me know his mission status, and the colony doesn't actually need me for anything.  I have the house, of course, but other than Haley it's empty.

But that means Haley is the only one who can see the Dragon cry.

Inevitable. 
Time and distance came between.
A hard driven wedge


I will not cast blame
Saying goodbye to my love
Even Dragons cry