A new year. A new adventure?

Lily is whole.

Lily is Free.

Her body may not be here own for the moment, and she may not be on Dragon's Egg, but that doesn't matter so much.  She is.  That, to me, is what matters.  Not that I had any doubt she would "survive" her transformation in the desert.  Not that I can pretend to understand what happened out there.  Only two people I can think of really understand her artificial physiology, and I'm not sure anyone but Blue understands her psychology.

I don't need to understand my little girl.  I just need to try and be there for her as best I can.  Which, I admit, is not always easy - physically or emotionally.  The physical, of course, is easy to understand.  Lily rarely stays put for long.  Even in the middle of a conversation, she's apt to dash off on some errand or another.  Emotionally?  Raising a child, even a problem child, there's certain things you can take for granted.  Normal kids, even abnormal kids, grow up exhibiting a broad, but understood, range of behaviors.  Lily?  Not so much.  No other mother in history has faced what I've faced as Lily's mother and there's times I'm not so sure I've done a good job of it.

Sample size of One means there's nothing to compare it with.  She has come out OK.  Just not sure I had much to do with her overall success.

From where I sit though, looking at Dragon's Egg from a medium orbit, I can only hope I've done right by her.  Done right for all my girls.  AuroraBlue's still on Al Raquis.  As is Lily.  x0x0?  She moves about.  Even if she may not think of herself as one of my girls, on some level she is.  Our relationship's not easy to pin down.  But I still consider her one of my girls.  Maybe because I know more about her than she realizes.  See the need.

Sometimes it's hard to reconcile my past and present.  To see myself caring about folk I'd have just as soon put down a decade ago.  The Ice Queen's thaw'd a bit.  Never mind Reavers still back off with a glare, and Alliance Officers still quake when they see me in uniform.  Not that I've put on the uniform in a while now.

From here, Dragon's Egg is just another world orbiting in the Black.  A world that's only half way considered livable.  Terraforming that's not quite stable.  Folk having to relocate more often than not.  Abandoning more than one settlement already.  Leaves me wondering if I'll ever come back.  Even with the cabin on the coast, there's not much left for me here.  The girl's on Al Raquis, a world that'll never be home to me.  A nice place to visit.  Or, more, A place to visit.

I've got business dealings there and folk I know.  But it's not home.

Home right now, for me, is the bridge of Wave Equation, or my quarters on Saule Silencieuse.  Preferably with Simon.  Though he's been out and about now even more than before we got hitched.

It's a new year though.  Maybe another adventure in the making.  Or maybe time to settle back to real business.  Hard to say.

Dragon in the Black
A new year calling to me
What holds the future?